Posted by: Matt | August 25, 2011

The Next Chapter

I am currently sitting in a chair, which rolls around a floor, built atop a mesa which is undeniably and immovably located in Western Colorado. So unless my chair wheels carry me much farther than I think they’re capable of I am too undeniably and immovably located home. This is oddly enough cause for a bit of cognitive dissonance. Even though I can look out this window and see miles upon miles of scrub steppe with high pine and quakey covered rises at the event horizon my brain seems to have become stuck somewhere in eastern Washington. No, not drawn there, just mentally stuck there. It seems unreal to me that I’m back here and that I’m not intending to return to Washington or anywhere else. A kind of jamais vu where I know this is a new situation despite knowing that I’ve been here before.

Given that I’m not intending to move back to Washington or anywhere else for that matter I can look at the sensations I’m experiencing and have thus concluded the following:

  • My mind is a stubborn bastard not easily changed once set
  • I’m learning the new skill of examining myself, my mind, my thoughts and emotions
  • The mind is a terrible thing

I went for a shorty run yesterday. Out to Black Ridge and back, there are a couple of good hills to climb on this run and it was getting hot by the time I started up the last and biggest of them. I must be doing better with the dryness of the air here because the handheld I took wasn’t that drained when I got back. More to come.


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